Margaret Talbot on "Cosmetic Neuroscience"

http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2009/04/27/090427fa_fact_talbot?currentPage=all

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=103274576

And in the New York Times:

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/04/21/boosting-brain-stamina-with-drugs/

One of the comments posted to Brian Lehrer (WNYC, not linked above) was from a freelance writer who called his use of the stimulant key to his "economic survival."

Wow.

That really startled me, and made me realize that some small reason for my own use mimics his. But my motivation also includes a drive to overachieve, a drive for recognition beyond my existing circles. A drive to find my voice in a world and time where downtime no longer exists.

***

Beyond the first post, I haven't charted how it has made me "feel." That only interested me for about three days, anyway. I noticed pretty quickly that my body adjusted, save for a more rapid heartbeat when I am lying down at night, which by the way I find pretty **cking alarming.

So for two weekend days I went off entirely. The first day I felt really crummy, but I couldn't attribute that Adderall because I had been getting such little sleep with all these deadlines. The second day was better.

Another day I took 10 mg (2 pills) and enjoyed a few hours of unmitigated focus.

Given the alarming heart effects (I have yet to discuss this with the doctor), I am inclined to use it on an as-needed basis, though I need to research whether the heart would better tolerate regular or infrequent use.

I mean, it wouldn't be THAT infrequent. It's like saying, "No, I'll leave the cape in the closet this month. I don't need to fly there."